As our loved ones age, it’s not uncommon for them to develop cognitive impairments, such as dementia. When this happens, it can be challenging for both the individual and their family members, especially those who take on the role of caregiver. As a caregiver, it’s important to be mindful of your loved one’s feelings and avoid saying anything that may cause confusion or distress. Here are some things you should never say to your parents living with dementia.
“Don’t You Remember?”
It’s important to remember that people with dementia have difficulty retaining information and may have trouble recalling things that happened just a few minutes ago. Asking them if they remember something can make them feel frustrated and embarrassed.
“You’re Wrong”
Even if your loved one with dementia is incorrect about something, it’s important to avoid making them feel as though they are mistaken. This can cause them to feel ashamed and can create unnecessary tension between you and your loved one.
“You Already Told Me That”
Repeating the same story or information is a common symptom of dementia. If your loved one tells you something they’ve already mentioned, it’s best to just listen and respond as if it’s the first time you’ve heard it. Correcting them can cause them to feel disoriented and embarrassed.
“You’re Not Yourself.”
Dementia can cause changes in personality and behavior, and it’s important to remember that your loved one is still the same person underneath. Instead of pointing out changes, try to focus on the things you appreciate about them and express your love and support.
“I Just Told You That”
Similar to the previous point, telling your loved one that you just said something can cause them to feel confused and embarrassed. Instead, just repeat the information and respond as if it’s the first time they’ve heard it.
“You Can’t Do That Anymore”
As dementia progresses, your loved one may have difficulty with everyday tasks such as dressing themselves or preparing meals. It’s important to avoid using phrases that may make them feel as though they are incapable or useless. Instead, try to find ways to support them in completing these tasks as independently as possible.
“You’re Being Difficult”
Caring for a loved one with dementia can be frustrating at times, but it’s important to remember that their behavior is a result of their condition. Accusing them of being difficult can cause them to feel upset and can make the situation worse.
“Do You Know Who I Am?”
It’s common for people with dementia to have trouble recognizing family members and close friends. Asking them if they know who you are can make them feel anxious and overwhelmed. Instead, introduce yourself and try to engage them in conversation in a way that makes them feel comfortable.
Watch Your Words
Caring for a loved one with dementia can be a challenging experience. However, by being mindful of your loved one’s feelings and avoiding phrases that may cause confusion or distress, you can help make the experience as positive as possible. Remember to be patient, kind, and compassionate, and always approach your loved one with empathy and understanding.
